Will You Be Missing Me?
by BlueRubyBeat
Summary: Harry Potter is the younger child of the Potter twins. He is overshadowed by his brother "The-Boy-Who-Lived" and is barely noticed by his teachers, classmates, and even his family. This is the day that every fourth year has their soul song play with memories to show why that the song is the reason it's playing and Harry's song is a real eye opener to his family and everyone.
1. Chapter 1

**Will You Be Missing Me?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Harry Potter characters, J.K. Rowling does, nor do I own the song "Missing" by Evanescence.

* * *

It was the evening Friday November 11th of Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Who is Harry Potter you say? The Boy-Who-Lived? NO! That is a misconception, he is the younger twin brother of the Boy-Who-Lived.

There were two children born on July 31st, 1980 and only one crowned the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry's twin James Jr. was the older of the two with light red-brown messy hair and round glasses overlooking hazel eyes, freckles on his slightly chubby cheeks and a height of about 5'4'' with a lightly rounded body from eating high fatty foods but with Quidditch to counterbalance the weight a bit. James Jr. is the epitome of a Gryffindor, brash, loud, mischievous (the next Marauder generation with his group), a chaser for the Gryffindor's and a playboy. (He really takes after his father). Then we have Harry himself, he has dark as night hair that is slightly past the shoulders in a low ponytail (missed the messy hair potter gene – that goes to the first-born), large glistening Avada Kedavra green eyes, high cheekbones befitting a pureblood, pale skin from indoor activities such as his Ravenclaw studying habits, and the height of 5'1'' with a graceful lithe body.

You cannot have two different twins than these two. James Jr. has a posse of followers and a group of people he can call friends with Hermione Granger the smarts, Ronald Weasley the strategic comic relief, Ginny Weasley his fiery girlfriend/#1 fangirl, and Neville Longbottom the herbology expert. His posse is headed by Parvati Patil & Lavender Brown. Harry only had one friend, another outcast in the Ravenclaw house, a third year named Luna Lovegood who's quirky demeanor casted her from her classmates on the first day.

Both at home and at school the attention is all on James Jr. even though Harry has the #1 spot in academics, James Jr. get praise for his mediocre grades, chaser skills, getting the professors to save the philosopher stone, taking credit for saving Ginny from Harry (no basilisk was slayed – stayed alive under the command of Harry & Harry destroying the diary), "catching" Peter Pettigrew and getting saved from dementers by Harry (though no one knows it), and now James Jr. gets picked to be the fourth champion for the Triwizard Tournament (Harry doesn't complain though). At home although Harry has never been hit, he has been severely neglected, his parents, Godparents (Sirius & Remus) forget that they have a second child/godchild. Harry is all but forgotten, no birthdays celebrated by supposedly family only his best friend Luna, not get taken out to Quidditch games, to the park, or other fun outings as a family, his only family are the house-elves. Harry has just given up getting love from his family since he was seven years old.

Now as it stands, every year the fourth years are hit by a spell to determine their soul song along with the memories that show why the song is their soul song. It is given in this year because 14-year old's are old enough to know right from wrong but are not old enough to be set in their ways. So every second Friday of November the spell is done in front of the whole school & since it is the Triwizard Tournament this year, Durmstrang Institute & Beauxbatons Academy of Magic get to watch the proceedings & they have no need to go through the ritual since they have already done so.

The fourth years started with the Slytherins, then the Hufflepuffs, the Gryffindors, and last the Ravenclaws. Some people were honestly surprised by their soul songs like Ron Weasley because he tried to hide his insecurities within himself but it came out anyway, with the song "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats that's about leaving your friends behind and striking on their own & Ron always wanted to be in the spotlight because he did something and not because of someone else. Others were not so surprising, like Draco Malfoy and the song "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" by Good Charlotte which is about materialism and being rich (self-explanatory), then there's Hermione Granger with "The Logical Song" by Supertramp that's about logic can restrict creativity and passion, which is true with Hermione and her narrow mind, and lastly there is James Jr., Mr. Fantastic himself with the song "We Are the Champions" by Queen, how he is the best and doesn't want to be dragged down by losers (his father had the exact same song).

The last person to go was Harry Potter from the Ravenclaw house.

* * *

"We are almost done, we have one person left to go from the Ravenclaw house then you all can go up to bed," announced McGonagall through the Great Hall, "now Harry Potter you have to go, stand up please."

Sitting at the Ravenclaw table Harry Potter was shaking slightly but it was only noticed by Luna Lovegood since they were separated from everyone else at the front of the table. Giving her support, Luna squeezed his hand before letting him stand up with him giving her a small smile in acknowledgment. Harry stared stoically to Professor McGonagall for her to hit him with the soul song spell. McGonagall raised her wand at Harry and stated the final words that will keep him from being invisible to all, "_Carmen Animus_."

* * *

The words blared loudly over the Great Hall for all to hear along with the memories of his life he would've liked to keep secret.

* * *

_Please, please, forgive me.  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up.  
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one.  
Isn't something missing?_

"_**Harry Potter age 4"**_

_**Harry is a cute little four-year-old dressing up in his best clothes to go to his birthday party wearing a button-up emerald top, black slacks, and bright black dress shoes. Smiling to himself of a job well done he goes downstairs to where the party is held and peeks into the living room. He sees a bunch of kids from different families of the Weasley's, the Longbottom's, the Brown's, the Abbott's, and the Bones' to name a few. Happy with so many kids who can be his friends, but before that he wanted to see his birthday cake before everyone ate it. So using all his sneaking skills (which is pretty impressive to not make any heads turn his way), he sneaks into the kitchen to look at the large Hogwarts-like cake with an inscription on it saying "Happy Fourth Birthday James Jr!" Frowning Harry looks all around the cake and couldn't find his name, so he goes to his mommy to ask where his cake is because it might be somewhere else, maybe bigger than James Jr! With glee, Harry searches out his mommy and finds her talking to a slightly plump red-headed woman.**_

"_**This is a great party for James Jr. Lily," commented to red-headed woman. "Thanks Molly, he needs all the fun and gifts he can get for being my best little boy!" replied Lily. Frowning, Harry leans closer to hear better, 'Maybe I didn't hear good enough…' "Yes, this party is all for James Jr. gotta give him the best! Did you see what birthday cake he wanted? Took a few hours to bake it and specially encode it with his name, took all day to make this his best party!" "It took you…" Not hearing the rest of the conversation, Harry ran up to his bedroom and jumped on his bed crying his little heart out.**_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know._  
_You forgot me long ago._  
_Am I that unimportant?_  
_Am I so insignificant?_  
_Isn't something missing?_  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

"_**Harry Potter age 5"**_

_**Little Harry was up in his room reading a potions book for children waiting to be called down for dinner. This dinner was one of the three days a week his Godfathers, Sirius and Remus or as he called them Uncle Paddy and Uncle Moony, would come over to eat with them. Harry loved his Godfathers, especially when Uncle Paddy would change into the doggie. "James Jr. come down for dinner Uncle Paddy & Uncle Moony are here!" yelled his mommy up the stairs. From his room Harry could hear the running pitter patter of his brother going down the hall and the stairs, "Uncle Paddy! Uncle Moony! You're here!" Harry waited a while for his mommy to call him down for dinner so he could greet his favorite uncles, but the call never came. After five minutes Harry set down his book on the desk and went down the stairs for dinner but all he found was a table set for five, not six, five, one for his mommy, daddy, Uncle Paddy, Uncle Moony, and his brother James Jr. Everyone was laughing at some joke or another from Sirius while Harry was staring from the doorway transfixed that they were eating without him, like they forgot…him…**_

_***Drip drip* Tears were falling down Harry's cheeks as he stared from the doorway with no one even noticing.**_

_Even though, I'm the sacrifice._  
_You won't try for me, not now._  
_Though I'd die to know you love me._  
_I'm all alone._  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

"_**Harry Potter age 7"**_

_**Harry was having a blast with his family. They were at the park. He played all day with them, the slide with his Uncle Paddy, the swings with his Uncle Moony, the merry-go-round with his daddy, and feeding the ducks with his mommy. He was the eye of his parents, his brother was nowhere in sight, it was his day. His parents even took him to get his favorite ice-cream flavor, treacle tart…Yuuuummmmm! He hoped this day would never end, maybe he was dreaming the neglect and this was the real world. "I hope this never ends…" Harry wished smiling at his mommy. But the happy moment had to end at some point…the scene starts to shimmer and sway… "Noooooo…this is real…this is real…don't go away mommy, daddy!" Harry yelled running toward the happy family with his arms stretched and tears flowing freely down his face and then…**_

_**He woke up. Gasping for breath and Harry shot up from his bed, tears flowing down his cheeks as in the dream, realizing that it was that… it was only a dream.**_

_Please, please, forgive me._  
_But I won't be home again._  
_I know what you do to yourself._  
_I breathe deep and cry out._  
_Isn't something missing?_  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

"_**Harry Potter age 8"**_

_**Harry was really excited today, in fact he was actually jumping up and down looking at the calendar in his room. Today the family would go see a Quidditch match, even though it wasn't his Quidditch team, the **__**Caerphilly Catapults**__**, it was the **__**Wimbourne Wasps**__**. Oh well, even though it is his brother's team along with his father and Godfathers (his mom wasn't an avid fan but would go for family fun), it would be fun because the whole family would go! So Harry started to get dressed in the jersey supporting the Wasps to seem a fan but he would secretly support the opposing team just see the Wasps lose 'cause he didn't want the Wasps to go against the Catapults. He then raced to get his backpack to stuff his omnioculars, some money, and some candy into. **_

_**On the way out of his room he grabbed his cloak to keep warm since it was supposed to rain later in the day. Grinning Harry climbed down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast, "Mom when are…we…leaving…?" Harry was confused, where's his mom cooking breakfast? It's only 10 and the game's at 12…Maybe they're still sleeping because they were so excited they went to bed late. So ready to wake up his parents and brother he set out to their bedrooms…only to find them empty. "Well, maybe they're in the living room ready to leave and waiting for me…?" Harry sets out to the living room and finds it empty as well with the fireplace a little warm. "But it's only warm after it's used…they left without me?" Harry said to the empty room horrified.**_

"_**They left me…again…but I thought…" saddened by the fact they forgot him again he left to his bedroom hanging his head.**_

_Even though, I'm the sacrifice._  
_You won't try for me, not now._  
_Though I'd die to know you love me._  
_I'm all alone._  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

"_**Harry Potter age 10"**_

_**Used to being forgotten, Harry walks into the living room listening to the sounds his family eating dinner and laughing in the dining room. The living room wasn't lavish as one would think, but quite simple in some deep blues and soft crème's with elegant furniture around a deep burgundy fireplace that had pictures upon the mantle. Looking up at the pictures Harry sees his family with no pictures of him. The first picture had his mother and father with his older brother James Jr. in the yard having a picnic. The second picture had James Jr. playing quidditch with Sirius, Remus, and father. The third picture was of a family dinner with his parents, Godparents, and brother laughing and smiling at each other. And the last picture was at a **__**Wimbourne Wasps**__** quidditch game and everyone decked out in Wasps jersey's and the team's colors of yellow and black.**_

_**Sighing, Harry quickly grabs a glass of juice and an apple and sets out to his bedroom for some light reading. Sitting down at his desk, Harry spots a picture of himself smiling with the only people he thinks of as family. The house-elves, the only other beings in this house that appreciate him, give him presents, and acknowledges that he lives in the house too. "Wow, I guess my blood relatives cannot be counted as my family but my family's servants can…who would've guessed?" he expressed out loud while gazing at the photo.**_

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed._  
_Knowing you don't care._  
_And if I sleep just to dream of you._  
_I'll wake without you there._  
_Isn't something missing?_  
_Isn't something?_

"_**Harry Potter age 11"**_

"_**Mom! Dad! I got into Hogwarts!" yelled a rambunctious red-brown messy haired child. "I knew you'd get in." smiled his father to James Jr. "Now that you are officially accepted into Hogwarts lets go to your favorite restaurant to celebrate! How about that?" asked his mother. "Yes! Can we invite Uncle Paddy and Uncle Moony? Please oh please oh please?" eagerly pleading to his mother, to which she replied "Of course we can, I just have to fire-call and reserve a table for five." "Yes! I'm going to owl my friends to tell them the news!"**_

_**Later that day after Harry replied to his acceptance letter, his family was leaving to eat out. Left to his own devices Harry walked into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and took out a razor from the top drawer. Staring into the mirror Harry slit his left wrist letting the blood flow into the sink for a while and cut another line into his wrist to let more blood flow. The tears wouldn't come but the blood would do the job for him.**_

_Even though, I'm the sacrifice._  
_You won't try for me, not now._  
_Though I'd die to know you love me._  
_I'm all alone._  
_Isn't something missing?_  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

"_**Harry Potter age 13"**_

_**As always Harry is alone. Since Harry spends all his time in his room he has acquired pale skin which made his eyes glow an even more eerily bright green and darkened his hair so it would blend against the shadows. Spending time alone, Harry loved to read. He was even ahead of his studies by two years but only shows the minimum to get him the top spot each year, no more no less. His favorite subject was runes, he put them on almost everything he owned, from security to changing colors of his ink. He was going to take them that year for one of his extra classes. While reading the book he looked out his window to the yard and saw his family. His mother was shouting and smiling at his older brother who did some special move on his broom with his father and Godfathers around him encouraging him on. They looked like the perfect happy family, if one would look up from the ground they would reckon him a ghost and not real because no one lived in the house besides the mother, father, and their messy-haired child…right?**_

* * *

The song ended with the memories as well. Harry could feel every eye on him in the hall, especially Lily, James, James Jr., Sirius, and Remus (obviously Harry doesn't think of them as his parents or Godparents anymore). It was like they had never seen him before.

"Ah-hem. Well, now that all the fourth years have gone, why don't you all go to bed now. Hop to it," called the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, "But I would like James Jr. Potter and Harry Potter to stay behind."

'This won't be pleasant,' Harry thought as the rest of the hall cleared out and him walking to the front of the hall to his doom. Not literally, but it felt like it. "I know you'll pull through this," Luna whispered before she left the room, "The wrackspurts are strangely absent in their heads right now."

The whole hall was cleared except for the teachers, the headmaster, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and James Jr. They were still sitting in their spots and he stood in front of them stone-faced and James Jr. to the right of him by a few feet (obviously he didn't want to be in the confrontation for once and wanted to watch it play out).

"So, care to tell us what that was about young man?" asked Lily. "Not really no," replied Harry, "it was practically self-explanatory in the memories, or did you ignore them like you did me almost all my life?" They flinched. 'Good, they're guilty. But I wonder how long that'll last?' Harry thought meticulously watching their reactions not giving his own.

"Harry," James tried, "I know we haven't been the best of parents…" "I don't think I can call you parents since you didn't take care of me, the house-elves did," Harry cut in. "Okay, we deserve that, but we can make it up to you and fix that song. No one should have a song like that at your age, and what was up with the cutting? You shouldn't do that!" he finished.

"First, you cannot fix what has already been done. The song will change since I have a friend and someone to call a father, that is not you by the way. And I don't even cut anymore since Luna helped me calm myself and kept me occupied with being my friend. Besides why do you care? You didn't notice before, none of you did! I shouldn't even dignify you with an answer!" Harry bit out as their faces grew a little enraged.

"We're you're parents! We do care! (*coughliarcough*) We didn't notice before because you were never around…" James continued to try his case, failed miserably I might add and Harry but in again. "The only reason I was never around was because you forgot about me, time and time again that I just gave up trying to get your attention and acknowledgment!"

"James calm down, we cannot solve this with yelling. Harry honey, (*raised eyebrow*) we do love you truly, we just haven't been forthcoming with it (*snort*) but we can now correct it and start anew. How about it Harry James Potter, to start again as a family?" Lily tried negotiating.

"Become a Potter again you say? Start again as a family you say?" Harry mimicked, Lily nodding with hope shining in her eyes, 'Well that will disappear real quick if I have anything to say about it.' "Sorry, well actually I'm not sorry since I won't be a Potter again, or part of your family again. I'm not a Potter anymore anyways," smirked Harry.

"WHAT? You are a Potter young man!" yelled James. "Uh, no I'm not. You see, since your loving family seemed to think I wasn't a part of it, I decided I didn't want to be a Potter anymore," smiling wildly now Harry saw Lily losing that hope he saw, "I had you James sign a paper disowning me permanently from the family but not without giving me my inheritance. You see, I have a new name, but it won't come into effect until Christmas when I'm with my new family for the holidays."

"Wh-who's…wh-what's your new name?" asked Lily hesitantly.

About to break his face from smiling Harry replied, "Weeeelllll…the Lovegoods!"

Silence. Sweet sweet silence.

"Well, if that is all, I'll be on my way, curfew is in 30 minutes and I don't want a detention on my perfectly squeaky clean record. Adieu." Harry swept in a bow and left the Great Hall of stunned teachers and ex-family members.

* * *

Harry told Luna what happened during the meeting and all she had to say was, "You forgot to mention that you were married into the family not adopted right?"

"Maybe..." Harry grinned to his wife as they shared a laugh, 'Thank Merlin that her dad, well my dad now, let me marry her. Although we have to wait till she's 16 to consummate it. Oh well.'

* * *

**Aaaaannnndddd that's a wrap! Phew, had to write one of these and it was pretty good if I do say so myself. Read and Review I would LOVE to know what you think!**

_**Carmen Animus **_**– Song of the Soul**

**I know "We are the Champions" by Queen came out in 1977, "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" by Good Charlotte came out in 2002, and "Missing" by Evanescence came out in 2004, but in this fic they came out prior to 1994 & Queen's song came out prior to 1974, just to fit in.**


	2. AN Must read!

Sorry everyone...But I went on a break earlier because of a) college b) death in the family c) my engagement...I know it sucks, but I also will redu some chapters to make them better (because I was in a tired state when I wrote & uploaded them & I'm a chemistry major & NOT an english major)! I will be back sometime in fall since I will be out of the country for a few months & I will not be bringing my laptop!

Thanks for all my reviewers/favorites/alerts! You'll give me the strength to write better!

BlueRubyBeat


End file.
